Dreams

Dreams,

I gave up on them.

You may wonder why? Don’t we all have dreams? And is having a dream not as having a purpose? I hear you dear, allow me further to explain the reason behind it all.

Early this year, I was angry at God. So angry. I told him where the door was, because tell me why they were always closed and I mean truly closed, locked and sealed. Now mind you, it wasn’t as if I was asking for much, they were peanuts. You know, a husband, a career and amazing friends etc. The usual stuff.

For a week or two I cried my eyes out. Then came anger, then I said sod it and before I knew it; I was in the stage of acceptance. I reached the conclusion that my dreams that I have had since I was a little girl may never come true and I had to be okay with that. It hurts— but it felt freedom! That feeling, I will never forget.

In a short amount of span of time, I reached the level of the art of detachment naturally. It was the BEST THING thing that happened to me. A beautiful wrapped gift that came with wisdom and understanding of why you should approach life as if you are a traveler. Have things going for you that are light, easy to handle and manage. A way of life that doesn’t leave you stuck, attached and heavily meaning to it. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not saying you shouldn’t have any emotions attached to things, but make it a healthy manner.

If I can speak for myself about my experience, I was handling and treating my dreams as if they were life or death situation. If I don’t have this dream come true, then…. Do you see where I am going with this? It was all or nothing. I was being entitled, added too much value in a wrong way and emotionally attached to it. That GOD himself, made entirely sure that all those doors were closed, locked and sealed.

When I realized my way of approaching and handling wasn’t working for me, I was finally able to let go of my dreams. Something within me changed. I gained a frontal lobe upgrade, I gained wisdom, knowledge, reassurance, confidence, self-respect, pride and a healthy outlook in life. I was approaching life in a healthy manner; I stopped adding value to the wrong things. I gained my freedom and it felt free. I unchained the shackles that I put myself in for many years so freely.

It has been months. There are times that my old habits slips back. But thankfully, I can nib it in the bud and look at the evidence of my past life. I ask myself the question; Do I want to go back there? I deserve better than that. I was in an abusive relationship with myself. This approach helps me to reel back in reality and continue my life in a healthy way.

And when I look at those doors that were closed, locked and sealed…I am grateful they were.