It has been an hectic time these past three months, where I have learned so much about mysself in short amount of time. Some of the stuff that has made me aware are things I have been working on many years and it has finally arrived and paid off.
It all started somewhere in October. Some challenges came my way all at once and I remember feeling every single day irritated. There was one instance, where I was told I need to remember the position I am which is a make or break thing. I was defending myself in that incident, which I completely am proud of. But It has taught me valuable lesson, what would have been a smarter move. Something that would help me in my professional life and private life.
There has been so many things happening that I came to learn, come to conclusion and realization and acceptance.
Let me share them with you:
When emotions are high I tend to be quick to respond via emails, while my intention are good it comes off wrong/bad on my part.
The problem is ME! nothing to do with the email thing – but I am the problem of my problems. I have been for years in victimhood and victim mindset.
My nervous system is fried and it is screaming for help
I have a burn out-
I play way too nice to people –
I come off insecure it is such off putting
Smile less when making eye contact – you don’t have to signal anything at all it is super weird. This made me visualize how would it look if someone smile at me constantly.
I need to detach myself from people and put a barrier between us
I need to stop letting others negativity affect me
I need to learn how to detach myself from people and put a barrier between us.
I need to learn how to ignore the background noise when there is so much drama happening
I need to accept I am alone and be okay with that
I need to learn to be okay when it comes 1000 people vs me.
I need to be organized
I need to come up with plans and stick with my goals.
I am unhappy because of my weight
I need to leave everything (the past) behind me
I need to work on my nervous system and soothe it
I need to speak good words to myself and treat myself with love,grace and compassion.
No one even cares a single drop –
People are transactional
People live their lives surface level
People are bunch of liars
There are a lot of hateful, jealous envious people and they live amongst us.
There are good people out there
It is these phones !!!
I need a break from social media
And with all of that – I went on to stop so many of these things at once. I learned my nervous system is the SYSTEM that is running my life and it’s been fried for the last 36 years. I also come to find out my intense outer look is because of my inner world.
So I learned how to calm my nervous system and soothe it. I will share that in the next post with you .